After a week of Thanksgiving, which I had sick kids, all week, and a weekend of the direct opposite of sick kids, where my children were happily better, and thus bouncing off the walls, with their energy reserves; I am exhausted. I am also facing some things in my personal life, that are intense and difficult, a divorce and a bankruptcy. It isn't often I express these things so openly in words, because typically I resort to art to express my emotions. I do so with a veil of symbolism, using colorful brushstrokes while listening to music and it's cathartic. I don't tell people what's wrong with me, because I typically don't even know, and I don't like such direct vulnerability. Right now I am in a slump, right now I am suffering artist's block. I am having a hard time forcing any art. I am scared to face my anger, my sadness, my fears. I am terrified that I don't have the energy to come out okay on the other side. I fear I will get lost in the pain. I'm typically an optimist. With a big smile on my face, and a sharp sense of humor. However, I am the same as anyone else, I'm not immune to sadness, anger and dark moments of dread. Either a beautiful piece of raw art will come from my eventual emotional tap into this darkness or I will continue to suffer through this until something changes.
I know some people don't think artist's block is a thing. Well, newsflash it is, and I bet plenty of artists can attest to moments of it.