Elephants : Memory : Matriarch

I was curled up one night with a cup of tea, looking for something inspiring to watch before falling asleep, when I came across The Elephant Queen.   I love nature and documentaries. Not to mention I am a sucker for Elephants. 

Be warned: although this documentary is beautiful, parts of it are heartbreaking and there are spoilers ahead.

I cried my eyes out at the loss of Mimi. 
But I was also inspired and what stayed with me most was the story of how matriarch elephants lead their herds to food and water sources remembered from years ago by—memory. Elephants have incredible memories and that includes the paths they have walked.

That word stopped me. Memory. I felt it stir something in me - And before I could put words to it, I grabbed a pencil and paper, because saw her in my mind’s eye. The Elephant Mother as a queen. I began drawing out her form as I sat and watched the documentary.

I realized she wasn’t just Athena, she was a collective memory, of nature, of earth, a divine Empress of the land she walked, an ancestral lineage and through making her, through the act of creation, I came to an understanding that she was a part of me too.

When I started the piece, I didn’t know what it would become. That’s how most of my paintings begin. I receive a feeling—sometimes a flash like lighting, sometimes it's fuzz and more of a slow unfolding—the work reveals itself as I move and sort through the details of the piece.

I don’t always feel like  the ideas are mine, or like I’m the one doing the painting.
In fact, I often say that when I reach the point where I “have no idea what I am doing”, that’s when flow begins. And in that moment, I become playfully aware that the art is more than mine, it's coming through me. That I am using the tools and techniques that I know, to explore the depths of subconcious, which is where the collective memory lies, and I do my best to translate and convey those feelings and ideas into visual imagery.

This one felt like a sacred ceremony. Her eyes had to hold the wisdom of centuries. Her body had to carry both sorrow and power. I wanted her to wear a crown of beauty, and to weave pastel variations of those colors throughout her grey creases. She needed to radiate a deep soulful knowing. The Elephant as a goddess.

As I worked, I thought about how elephants—like crows—have been witnessed in ceremonial mourning of their dead. How they remember lost ones and return to the places where bones were last seen. How they walk for miles, guided by maps written deep in their soul. And it hit me, what I was trying to convey with this one.

We are the same. We all carry the weight and memory of what came before us. We grieve things we don’t always have words for. We long to return to some forgotten place where we were once whole. We will stop at nothing, risking it all to quench our thirst for life.

This painting washed over me as I worked on it—becoming a portal into that deep primal knowing. A remembering.

Midway through painting her, my playlist switched.
I have many curated playlists on Spotify that I use while working.
Because I have synesthesia, sound is so important to translating feeling in my process.
So I’m intentional about the songs or sounds that are playing while working on art.

But this time, my curated playlist ended, and Spotify recommended a Ganesha Mantras playlist. I didn’t stop working. I felt that synchronicity and let it guide me.

Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu deity, is known as the remover of obstacles, bringer of good fortune and new beginnings, and is the patron of the arts and sciences.

This beautiful matriarch is a sort of threshold guardian. She carries the past while clearing a path forward. I hope she awakens something wordless and profound within you— something older than your name. 

Something that says:
“I will show you the way back to the river, back to the pools of water, that hold deep reflective memories, I will show you the way back to yourself."

What does ancestral memory mean to you?
Have you ever felt guided by something ancient?
I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Elephant Mother of Ancestral Memory
30x48" acrylic on canvas
→ [Link to view or inquire]

Trailer of the movie that sparked the inspiration for this painting.